he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
