I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
