So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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