I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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