I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
