I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
