The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I accidentally had phone sex last night
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
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