so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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