im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
