Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
