I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
