I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
