I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
