wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
