who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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