I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I need moral support for this bender
he's gonorrhea incarnate
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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