Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
