No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize