hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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