do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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