the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
