i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
you win again, gameday.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
