is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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