No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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