i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
My ATM looks so different sober.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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