i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
