uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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