I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
