You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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