chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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