Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
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For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
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you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?