When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just cropdusted the office
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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