I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.