What a fucking waste of an outfit
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.