3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!