I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies