Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!