Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
