Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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