I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
