What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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