by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
