Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
