You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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