Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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