I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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