I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
