so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
