i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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