I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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