my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
he's single and there are thong briefs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize