dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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