Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
