It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
