You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
