I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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