I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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