If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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