i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
