he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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