I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
