We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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