did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Everything about him screamed your future.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
