My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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