It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
