i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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