dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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