I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize