Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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