try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
